INDIA ROSE | ONE MONTH

I feel lucky to say that I have spent one whole month with this beautiful individual I call my daughter. It still feels very odd using the words my daughter, but I'm sure I will get used to the idea soon. India's first couple of weeks out of utero was a complete one big blur. I have vivid memories of constant feeding, changing and skin to skin. I found myself not eating as much as I should. I became obsessed with nursing her as much as I could because I wanted to produce enough milk to feed her. My partner was on paternity leave,  he would do all the nappy changes, fetch me food and take care of India whilst I caught up on some sleep.  This was a huge help and definitely took the some of the weight off my shoulders.

India

Breastfeeding: I found breastfeeding extremely difficult for the first couple of weeks. So difficult that I almost gave up on it all together. I was so adamant that I wanted to exclusively breastfeed and even though it was causing me so much pain, I didn't want to give up. I told myself I would stick at it for two weeks and if things didn't improve I would contact my NCT breastfeeding counsellor. Every feed made my toes curl, I hated feeding my baby and I hated my breasts for making me feel that way. My partner would comfort me and say "Shanice you can do this, you've done so well" and in my head all I could think why can't I do this? Breastfeeding is supposed to be natural so why is it causing me so much pain? I ask my midwife, and she told me breastfeeding isn't supposed to hurt if you have the right latch. My latch was perfect so I didn't understand what was wrong. Despite the odds, I persevered and stuck to my gun and eventually the pain did get better. I began to breastfeed without fear and it didn't seem like such a chore to me anymore. India feeds roughly ever couple hours, she likes to cluster feed every now and again. One time she fed for a whole 4 hours (I didn't even know this was possible, and people still don't believe me when I tell them).

Sleep: she sleeps a lot, and I mean a lot. When visitors came round she would always be sleeping, some of them have never seen her with her eyes open. She wakes up every couple of hours for feeding in the night, and tends to take longer stretches during the day.

Milestones:

• Can mimic facial expressions
• Stares at faces 
• Her eyes follow me as I leave the room (cutest thing ever!)
• She has that addictive baby smell
• Her skin started peel
• She hates bath time
• She loves to sleep on daddy's chest
• She had her first bottle of expressed milk and took to it well
• I breastfed her in public
• She's had her first trip to Nando's 
• Will only sleep in her crib if swaddled

Motherhood

Selflessness: Becoming a mother has taught me selflessness. I now put a little human's needs before my own. Up until this point in my life I was a university student, in her early 20s without a care in the world. I had no reason to put anyone else needs in front of my own. I was wake up at one in the afternoon, stay out late, come and go as I please. 

Self-love: after giving birth, I felt like superwoman, I was filled with adrenaline and euphria. It all happened so quickly that I didn't even have time to comprehend what had just happened. I was impressed that I could endure such pain and push out a 8lb 8oz baby all on my own. My postpartum body didn't bother me, and still doesn't. I grew a human in that uterus of mine and it is definitely worth all the stretch marks and saggy skin. 

Take it easy: every day India changes, physical and mentally. Her facial expressions change, her features change, she frequently reaches a new milestone, big and small. I had an urge to get back to my normal self, the old me. I wanted to get out of the house, enjoy the sunny weather and take my new pram for a spin. I didn't slow down and take a step back, what was the rush? During those precious early stages of life this most important thing is to bond with your newborn,  give them plenty of cuddles and take as many pictures as you can, not just ones of your baby but ones with yourself and your family in them too (something I wish I did more of). The pictures you take of your children are for yourself, but the pictures you take with your children are for them to look at in the future. They will only be this little once, and only once. 

Shanice ox

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